Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Introduction of the OTech security team.

Sajiv in front,
with Victoria covering his back
Let me introduce myself, my name is Sajiv, I know a weird name, but I’ll tell that story another time. I am responsible for the security of the OTech offices. My job is a real boondoggle, I inspect the grounds in the morning, keep an eye out for anyone who might come close or potentially intrude during the day, at night I do my final rounds and in between I get fed a great meal and nap most of the time. As members of the canine species we are trained and raised to perform this important task and, being of the boxer breed, we can look very threatening. In general, we do very little harm, except occasionally to other animal species, in particular squirrels, possums and in worst cases even coyotes. Sometimes we also need to deal with those small black and white animals, which get really, and I mean really smelly. For some reason, after a successful mission against those furry creatures, we are always yelled at by our master and matron and are subjected to a bath with really sticky red stuff. We also run after deer but that is more as a sport as we can’t outrun them anyway.
One of the most important jobs is to leave our scent at the perimeter to distract and confuse other species, and we do this very systematically. My partner, her name is Victoria (she is really the boss but I try to act otherwise), takes care of the surface area and I, being a male, am better equipped to take care of anything between about one half foot and one foot on any tree, mailbox, and an occasional parked car. I can assure you that it takes a lot of practice to discharge not too much and not too little so we can cover the distance we walk in the morning with our matron. (I call her matron as I am told that the word for female master has a poor connotation).
We have an excellent EWACS (Early Warning and Control System) deployed in our vicinity. We communicate very effectively among our species. We have a golden retriever positioned strategically at the entrance of our block who serves as a scout and roams the back of his premises and, upon seeing a potential intruder entering our neighborhood, immediately signals this to all of us. About halfway in between him and our property there is a pair of hush puppies who make up for their size with their signal volume. If an intruder still manages to arrive within eye sight we’ll immediately storm out of the office and go full blast to the border of our premises doing our best to look like attack dogs. So far this strategy has worked pretty well, although sometimes too well as there have been some incidents where we were unable to identify friend or foe in a timely manner (and gotten in trouble for that with our master and/or matron).
Like I mentioned, my partner Victoria is really in command, even though I am faster and can outrun her easily, if there is a real threat, I let her take the first blow as a good commander should. You see, canines are like the Israeli army; the highest number of casualties occurs among the commanders. She has the scars to show it as well. A nasty one on her side from a coyote who tried to enter the premises and one on her belly, when she was defending her matron from a nasty little dog when we were traveling. So, she is typically behind me covering my back but as I mentioned she is not afraid to take charge.
The only problem with my commander is that she suffers a nasty case of PTSD, which causes her to panic when there is a thunderstorm in the air. As soon as the clouds start to form, she gets nervous, and when it starts rumbling she is in a pretty bad shape. Her matron actually has her on drugs when this happens. I guess that happens when you have been deployed in action for too long.
Well, this is enough for now as I see my master just entering the driveway and I he does not appreciate me typing on his keyboard. I need to keep him as a friend as I don’t want to end up in the doghouse.
Signing off, Sajiv, SOIC (security officer in command), OTech Inc.

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